‘2 Church Families’ Epitomizes Zimbabwe’s Growing Religious Freedom
HARARE, Zimbabwe — “Given a second chance, it is not something that I would want to repeat; it was too stressful,” said Taurai, a 58-year-old widower about his previous marriage, which ended with the death of his wife to COVID-related complications in 2020.
“I wouldn’t advise anyone to try it,” added the railway technician who is still undecided about remarrying.
Taurai, who did not want to give his full name for privacy reasons, is a Pentecostal, while his late wife, Madzimai Miriam, was a member of Johanne Masowe weChishanu, a popular local Christian Apostolic sect, one of the many African Indigenous Churches.
As a young man who was in love, he had married her against the advice of his pastor and family.
“We hardly agreed on anything,” he recalled. “Coming from a sect that does not believe in the Bible, but in prophets and angelic messages, as she did, while I was coming from a Bible-reading church, we were two people living in different worlds.”
But things have changed in recent decades. There used to be only a few regionalized mainline churches to choose from and husbands were once in total control of family decisions. But when the African continent started to rapidly urbanize, family dynamics changed and it has become increasingly common for marriages to form across different church denominations, sparking a trend called “two-church families” — in which husband and wife attend different denominations.
While some couples insist that the arrangement works perfectly for them, others, like Taurai, admitted the arrangement is not workable for their families.
My faith, my choice!
“What church is that where every sermon is about our dressing?” Getrude Salanje asked Religion Unplugged.
The 26-year old businesswoman stopped going to her husband’s church, upset that the sermons consistently criticized “worldly” fashions like trousers (for women), miniskirts, bum-shorts, artificial hair and make-up among many other things.
“I decided I am better off in a church where I am accepted as I am, not where I am judged,” she said.
Couples’ differences in tastes range from music, preaching or worship styles, dressing, children’s programs and everything in between, reflecting the growing diversity in modern society. It is on these differences that some couples agree to disagree, going separate ways in matters of their Christian faith.
Some African church leaders are strongly opposed to this “two-church family” arrangement because of the effect it could have on family unity and on children. Others are more accommodating, discouraging their congregants from stopping their spouses from making their own choice — in the same way others live amiably with non-believing spouses.
“If you can’t agree on such a very basic thing like the church that you attend as a husband and wife, know that there is no marriage to talk of, you are just co-habiting like what some pagans do,” Apostle Admire Murambiwa, founder of Eternal Life Covenant, a Zimbabwean-based Pentecostal church, told Religion Unplugged.
“The Bible is very clear that when a man and a woman come together in marriage, they become one flesh and that the man is the head of the family, so what marriage is one in which every Sunday husband and wife go in different directions?”
Some women accept marriage proposals from “outsiders” on strict condition that they won’t be forced to abandon denominations of their choice. But Murambiwa argued that’s not a good idea because most African marriages are still based on payment of lobola (bride wealth), where a newlywed couple usually lives near the husband’s family; and the wife is expected to take the husband’s surname.
“She should be able to make a choice rather than try to have the best of both worlds,” Murambiwa added.
While Murambiwa’s views are shared by many older Christians, especially those from mainline churches, some of which still insist on arranging marriages between their congregants, these views are not shared by others, especially the younger congregants, who — like Salanje — find them to be “outdated” and unnecessarily restrictive.
Balance between rights and biblical commands
Bishop Marothi Mashashane, president of the South African National Christian Forum (SANCF) told Religion Unplugged that as an organization, they are deeply committed to the unity of the Body of Christ and the defense of both religious and civil liberties. He said they view this new trend through a dual lens: The immutable Word of God and the supreme law of the country. He said the country’s constitution gives all citizens equality and freedom, which freedoms include the right to freedom of conscience, religion, thought, belief and opinion, in addition to the freedom of association.
“No Compulsion in Marriage: Marrying a person does not legally abrogate an individual’s personal rights to worship where they choose,” Mashashane said. “Historically, traditional patriarchy often demanded that a woman automatically forfeit her spiritual home to join her husband’s denomination.
“Our democracy ensures that neither the State, a cultural tradition, nor a spouse can lawfully coerce a citizen into a faith or religious practice against their personal conviction. Therefore, the “two-church family” is a direct, visible fruit of the constitutional protections that allow African Christians to exercise their individual freedom of conscience.”
He said while the country’s constitution protects individual autonomy, while the Bible emphasizes the spiritual union and covenantal oneness of marriage. He, however, maintained that constitutional rights and biblical commands do not have to be at war. Rather, he said, they challenge modern Christian couples to attain a higher level of maturity.
“Marriage is designed to be an equal, harmonious partnership where the husband and wife are unified in mind, spirit, and purpose,” Mashashanesaid. “When a husband and wife are fed from two different spiritual wells, it introduces competing theological worldviews, differing doctrines on tithing, conflicting expectations on moral lifestyles, and disparate views on spiritual warfare.”
Concern for children and future families
Mashashane said he is concerned about how this phenomenon impacts children and future generations.
“When parents belong to fundamentally different church cultures – for instance, one attending a traditional liturgical church and the other a charismatic, Pentecostal ministry – the children are often left caught in a spiritual tug-of-war,” he said. “This division can cause spiritual disorientation for children, leading to apathy or confusion about Christian identity. The family loses the beauty of worshipping together as a single unit, which is the historical bedrock of the Christian home.”
Cardinal Archbishop Modiri Patrick Shole, the president of the South African Union Council of Independent Churches said that while God’s ideal is unity, there are however some exceptions that should be considered with wisdom, not judgment.
He said sometimes the “two-church family” is a result of the need to honor a calling, where God decides to use both spouses, sometimes in different places.
“The goal is unity, even in separate assignments,” he said. “But unity does not always mean sitting in the same pew every Sunday. Unity is one heart, one vision, one altar at home. The measure is: Is the home still praying together? Are they still one in purpose?”
Need for common spiritual ground
The clerics concurred that since the institution of marriage involves bringing two adults from different families, upbringings, and backgrounds together to get things working, friction is not unexpected, but with compromises on both sides, it is possible to work out strategies for harmony.
Mashashane expressed the pastoral concern that while they respect individual rights, as shepherds of the flock, they acknowledge that navigating a marriage with divided loyalties requires an extraordinary measure of grace.
“It frequently creates practical friction, split financial tithing, and leaves the family without a unified spiritual covering,” he said. “We actively encourage Christian couples to prayerfully seek a spiritual home where both can thrive. Where differences persist, couples must intentionally communicate to align their household rules, establish a unified financial plan for tithing, and ensure that their children receive a clear, unconfused Christian foundation.”
While he said the “two-church family” phenomenon is an undeniable reality of a free, democratic society, and in the celebration of the constitutional liberty that allows every African believer to worship freely, he urges couples to remember that the ultimate goal of Christian marriage is spiritual and relational oneness.
“Liberty should be used to build the home, not to fragment it,” he added.
Cyril Zenda is a journalist based in Harare, Zimbabwe.