Rising Wedding Costs Drive Ugandan Men Away From Marriage
MUKONO, Uganda — The rising price of weddings are discouraging men in Uganda from marrying, raising significant concern among religious and political leaders. Leaders said they worry the trend may undermine family stability — a cornerstone of Ugandan society.
A “bride price” is the transfer of money, livestock, land or other material goods to a woman’s family as a prerequisite for marriage.
A Ugandan Demographics and Health Survey report from 2011 found that 38% of men aged 15 to 49 have never been married, compared with 24% of women in the same age group. The report noted that men tend to marry at much older ages than women.
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“For instance, among men between the ages of 19 and 45, only 9% were married at the age of 18 years,” the report said.
In Uganda, church marriages require bridegrooms to be introduced to the brides’ parents and pay the bride price before the church wedding ceremonies. The obligation to pay bride price is making church weddings more expensive and stopping young men and women from marrying. Leaders in Uganda are now advocating for a prompt return to more affordable, traditional Ugandan marriage practices, including customary bride price, to address the issue.
In Uganda, bride price typically includes land, cars, beer, numerous animals — mainly cows and goats — cash, foodstuffs, birds and household property, making it unaffordable for many men. At times, men who offer a low bride price are publicly embarrassed when their in-laws chase them away before the end of the introduction and wedding ceremonies.
Mercy Nabwire, who introduced her husband to her parents in 2019, told Religion Unplugged she felt relieved when her father, Mathias Okumu, declined the bride price to avoid the perception that he was selling his daughter.
“I felt relieved because my husband did not have a job at the time. I was uncertain how he would raise the bride price if he had been required to pay,” Nabwire said.
She added that after her father rejected the bride price, he warned her husband against beating or mistreating her since he did not pay the bride price.
Dalton Mujuni, whose wedding took place in September, said that when his bride’s parents recently asked him for approximately $8,043 as bride price, he nearly abandoned the wedding preparations.
“I didn’t have the money, so I lost interest in the wedding preparations, but I had invited friends to my wedding ahead of time, and I couldn’t cancel it,” Mujuni said. “My family found a way of mobilizing the bride price, and we are moving ahead, but I am not on good terms with my in-laws as a result.”
Mujuni urged parents to refrain from commercializing marriage, arguing that such practices discourage young men from entering the institution and also spoil love.
Before the commercialization of marriage in Uganda, bride price consisted of affordable marriage gifts such as traditional attire (gomesi and tunic), a goat, and a small sum of money known as omutwalo (about $75). Among Christian families, copies of the Bible were accepted as a form of bride price, and parents often advised prospective sons-in-law not to mistreat their daughters, emphasizing that they had not demanded an excessive bride price.
However, as modernization and commercialization have influenced marriage in Uganda, the pressure to display social status at weddings has increased. Bridegrooms now spend lots of money, like on cars, to present at daytime wedding functions for the bride’s parents to display to guests, then retrieve these items after the event.
In traditional African societies, the exorbitant bride price costs and expensive weddings were less common because men typically had their parents arrange marriage partners upon reaching age 18; their parents also organized the weddings and paid the customary bride price.
However, as the traditional practice of arranging marriage for children fades with modernization, an increasing number of young men are either choosing not to marry or are postponing marriage due to the increasing bride price and wedding costs. This shift has raised serious concern among Ugandan leaders, including President Yoweri Museveni.
Speaking at the introduction ceremony of Isabel Khisha Byanjeru and Aaron Mwiije Kafureeka in Kiruhura District, Western Uganda, on Aug. 1, President Museveni criticized the practice of demanding large sums of money and livestock as bride price. He said it was tantamount to selling off girls and that it discourages young men from marrying. He urged religious leaders in Uganda to intervene by preaching against it.
“Why are you selling your daughters? For 16 cows?” Museveni asked.
He emphasized the importance of preserving cultural values associated with wedding ceremonies. Museveni specifically advocated for discouraging excessive bride-price demands and extravagant weddings.
The president noted that his marriage to First Lady Janet Museveni, in 1937, was marked by a modest ceremony with only eight guests at the luncheon. He highlighted that despite his modest wedding, he has 15 grandchildren, which he presented as an indicator of a successful marriage.
The Prime Minister of Buganda Kingdom in central Uganda, Charles Peter Mayiga, also weighed in, criticizing exorbitant bride price and expensive weddings, and warning the Baganda against turning the events into expensive spectacles dominated by cash-spraying and competition over wealth. Mayiga said using weddings to showcase money is backward and that it risks overshadowing the events’ traditional purpose of bringing the two families together.
“We don’t want to see people splashing money during weddings; it's a sign of backwardness,” Mayiga said. “If you have money, we shall know, even if you don’t throw it around. A rich man is known even if they try to hide it.”
The Rev. Mycah Lukwago, head of youth ministries in Mukono Diocese in central Uganda, said demanding exorbitant bride price and organizing expensive weddings have become a real challenge for both young men and women. Church leaders, he said, ought to speak out against them to help young people reconsider avoiding marriage because of high financial demands.
“Young people are avoiding marriage because it is expensive, and many lack a stable income. Traditional weddings and high bride prices make it difficult for them to marry,” Lukwago said.
Pastor Solomon Male, Executive Director of Arising for Christ Ministries, a local Christian organization dedicated to fighting false teachings and corruption within Pentecostal churches, said religious leaders cannot help Museveni address the issues since they perpetuate the practices by charging high fees to officiate wedding ceremonies.
“Some of the religious leaders in Uganda refuse to attend weddings organized by those who cannot afford the high fees for their presence,” Male said.
Additional reporting by Yasiri Junior Kasango
John Semakula, an award-winning journalist and Poynter Institute alumnus, is based in Mukono, Uganda.