The World Is Full Of Irrational Hatred: Here’s How You Can Choose Peace
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(OPINION) My instinct is to begin a column with a (too) long justification of the reasons I’m writing it.
But not today.
For reference, just look at the recent, tentatively solved shutdown of the federal government, the longest in U.S. history. Or heck, peruse the news on any given day. Seemingly, two halves of the nation despise each other. They’re so angry they literally can no longer think straight. Common sense has fled our shores.
Of course, going back to Adam and Eve’s family, there’s been plenty of bitterness at the local and household level, most of which has nothing to do with politics. For millennia, there have been wars and rumors of wars on every inhabited continent, too. Among humanity, the opportunities for offense are endless.
But if you don’t want to get trapped in this habit of spreading bile, you don’t have to. You might choose another approach — you could become truly countercultural. By which I mean you might decide to sow love and mercy instead of fury and mistrust. It really is a choice each of us gets to make.
Here are some suggestions for pushing back against the present winds of darkness:
— Remind yourself regularly of the mistakes you’ve made. How about that stint in college when you decided communism was the only viable economic theory? What about that lazy, abusive crank you married the first time around? Was that a good choice? Do you have any regrets about neglecting your mom as she was dying because you were still mad over the car she gave your sister instead of you?
Anybody who’s lived beyond, oh, adolescence has done a whole tanker truck load of stupid things they’d just as soon forget. But it’s good to remember them. Taking a long look at your own failings leaves you more tender toward the foibles of others.
— Memorize these lyrics by singer-songwriter Paul Thorn: “Whatever you believe, you might be wrong.” The world is absolutely full of things you don’t know.
You don’t know the full set of circumstances that have brought anybody else to their current station in life. You don’t know how your own life will turn out 10 years from now. You might be comfortably on top now — and sucking wind by next month.
Hey, after you die, you might even discover God isn’t a Southern Baptist like you. What if God’s a Hindu? I mean, you think you know — we’ve all got our theories (mine is that Jesus is a Pentecostal preacher) — but nobody knows for sure. In short, you can either choose to be humble, or life will humble you anyway.
— Try to look at other people as fully rounded, three-dimensional children of God, not as cardboard cutouts. Nobody is just one thing. Maybe you’re a Democrat and your neighbor is a MAGA-hat wearing Christian nationalist who has 17 “Don’t Tread on Me” flags flying from the roof of his house. This may annoy you to no end.
But your neighbor is not just that guy. He’s also the guy who came over unasked and cut your grass four weeks in a row when you were recovering from bypass surgery. He’s the guy who umpires Little League games at the local park. He’s the guy still grieving the teenage son he lost in a car wreck. He is not a demon. He’s a human being, fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. And he needs to remember the same about you.
Consider that surly, irrational people quite often are acting from their own pain. As TV Bible teacher Joyce Meyer has said, “Hurt people hurt people.” Maybe if you’d been through what your nemesis has been through, you’d be way meaner than she is. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Extend mercy.
— Practice greeting everybody, even those you detest, with a smile. Speak softly and — and despite what Teddy Roosevelt said — don’t whack anybody over the head with a big stick. There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but generally people of every stripe respond better to kindness and respect than to fury and condescension. Just. Be. Nice.
— Listen to those you disagree with. Don’t listen merely to formulate a sharper comeback or putdown. Actually listen. Try to hear what they’re trying to tell you, even if you still end up still disagreeing. People rarely believe anything in a vacuum; they believe it for reasons. They’ve had different experiences than you have.
Listening helps you understand where your adversary is coming from. But it also opens you up. It gives you fresh ways of seeing the world. It can give you a bit more compassion. Remember, we’re all just muddling through, every last one of us.
— Pray for your enemies instead of cursing them. If you’ve tried all the steps above and you still think they’re vile, pitiless, immovable morons, then maybe it’s time to recognize that you’re out of your depth. Opening their eyes to (your) truth is way beyond your abilities. But there is one who really can open blind eyes and soften hearts of granite. Ask the Lord to visit your adversary with his overwhelming love and grace and transform her heart. Ask the Lord to transform you while he’s at it.
Paul Prather has been a rural Pentecostal pastor in Kentucky for more than 40 years. Also a journalist, he was The Lexington Herald-Leader’s staff religion writer in the 1990s, before leaving to devote his full time to the ministry. He now writes a regular column about faith and religion for the Herald-Leader, where this column first appeared. Prather’s written four books. You can email him at pratpd@yahoo.com.