⚠️ Christianity’s Dirty Little Secret — And How These Believers Overcame It 🔌
Weekend Plug-in 🔌
Editor’s note: Every Friday, “Weekend Plug-in” meets readers at the intersection of faith and news. Click to join nearly 10,000 subscribers who get this column delivered straight to their inbox. Got feedback or ideas? Email Bobby Ross Jr.
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Christianity and pornography don’t mix.
Except that they often do — whether believers and church leaders want to talk about it or not.
Over half of practicing Christians report consuming porn with some level of frequency, and most say no one helps them avoid it, according to a Barna Group study.
“In my opinion, it’s the biggest threat to Christians families in the U.S. there is. Period,” said David Rhyne, chief operating officer for Ever Accountable, a digital accountability software company with 40,000 subscribers.
Rhyne, a Reformed Baptist who lives in Manassas, Virginia, speaks from personal experience.
Now 35, he grew up in a Christian household with no R-rated movies or Playboy magazines — but the football cheerleaders he saw on TV and the lingerie ads in department store catalogs that came in the mail caught his attention at an early age.
“I knew I liked something there, but I didn’t know what was going on,” Rhyne said.
By age 15, he gained access to the internet and began watching porn online.
“It was all too easy to find some privacy and look at stuff that was wrong, and I hated it,” he said. “I was full of shame and full of guilt. I had prayed and prayed and cried and cried and cried. But I was so ashamed that I kept it completely secret. I did not tell a soul.”
He tried and failed to quit porn more times than he could count.
This pattern repeated itself until — in Rhyne’s early 20s — a friend became aware of his struggle. After that intervention, his porn usage declined.
But Rhyne did not find true freedom from porn, he said, until embracing Ever Accountable and its focus on online transparency and human connection with an accountability partner.
He loved the digital platform so much that he left his product design job earlier this year and went to work full time with Ever Accountable. Other major accountability software providers include companies such as Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You.
“Many people find blocking or reporting software to be helpful in their recovery,” said Steve Holladay, founder of Ultimate Escape, a Tennessee-based ministry associated with Churches of Christ. “Having said that, many of those same people report that they find ways around the software or habitually uninstall, act out and then reinstall the software.”
Holladay first detailed his “escape from sexual addiction” in a 2006 interview with me.
“Commitment to ‘rigorous honesty’ within a 12-step group or healthy accountability group is vital to long-term recovery,” he said in a text message this week. “Proactive accountability, looking at the days ahead and identifying potentially challenging situations and making plans to deal with them, can be a game changer in the recovery process.”
Steve Holladay, founder of the Ultimate Escape ministry, speaks to Adventures in Missions students at Sunset International Bible Institute in Lubbock, Texas, in 2024. (Photo by Bobby Ross Jr.)
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LIKE RHYNE, Austin Rohm, a Wesleyan pastor in Columbus, Indiana, found he could not overcome porn with willpower alone.
He needed accountability.
“I was born on a Thursday, and I was in church the following Sunday,” Rohm said of his upbringing. “You know, the Lord saved me out of a bunch of different things. I never picked up cigarettes. I never picked up alcohol. I never went to any crazy parties. But I did struggle with pornography.”
Now a coach for Ever Accountable, Rohm, 34, expects to celebrate 10 years of freedom from porn in November.
“Just having that knowledge that somebody was going to be able to see the things that I was doing on my device really helped pull me out of it,” he said.
The software alone is not enough, he emphasized.
“It’s just what enables an accountable relationship to start, right?” Rohm said. “And it just puts everything out there, right? Like, there’s someone looking over your shoulder 24/7 on your device, and just that little bit of extra friction gives you the time to make the right choice.”
Austin Rohm with his wife, Rachel. (Photo provided by Austin Rohm)
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AS A BOY, Robbie Anderson was exposed to his father’s porn magazines, which kept arriving even after his dad got drunk and died in a single-vehicle accident.
The first-generation Christian fell victim, too, to sexual abuse by relatives.
“As a very young man, I got very addicted to pornography,” said Anderson, 45, a Pentecostal ministry leader who lives in Springfield, Missouri. “It became an escapism for me of pain, hurt, frustration.”
Now a father of two happily married for over two decades, he said he overcame his porn problem by bringing the darkness into the light of a Christian community.
“I love to tell people from any stage that I get to stand on that freedom can be had, first from the Scriptures and then also from the covenant community that the body of Christ is,” he said. “Ever Accountable is simply a tool that helps bring people into a place of freedom.”
Anderson said he and his family — including his teenage children — have weekly accountability discussions.
“I’m grateful for just the extreme accountability that he lives under,” said Jessica Anderson, Robbie’s wife. “That just kind of trickles over into all areas of our life. … He’s real careful with purity in our home and purity in our devices and purity in our technology. And what we watch and what we intake. And our children, too, what they watch and what they listen to and all that.”
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FOR CHRISTIANS STRUGGLING with porn, Rhyne offers this simple message: There is hope.
It’s a lesson he learned firsthand.
“I genuinely believed I’d never be free,” said Rhyne, the Ever Accountable COO. “That’s a lie of the enemy, or at the very least, a mistake in your belief system.
“If I can get free, anybody can … and it starts with being radically transparent,” he added. “We all think that if somebody knew I watched pornography, they’d be shocked, and they’d hate me. But the honest truth is that, if you’re walking in a Christian community, it’s going to be the complete opposite. They’re going to embrace you.”
David Rhyne is the chief operating officer for Ever Accountable, a digital accountability software company. (Photo provided by David Rhyne)
Most are going to acknowledge that they struggle with porn — or have struggled — themselves, Rhyne said. Instead of rejection and shame, confession will bring a closer bond with that person, he suggested.
That said, he advises discretion in choosing the person to hear the admission.
“I’m not saying share it with your boss or even necessarily your wife without talking to a professional or maybe somebody experienced first,” he said. “But go to your brother in Christ and say, ‘Hey, I need support,’ and then find a group.
“And it starts, I think, with getting really transparent with your online activity so you’re not living with a black box again — walking around with cocaine in your pocket 24/7 and hoping you never do drugs.”
Inside The Godbeat
It’s time for a name change, Evangelical Press Association leaders have decided.
The organization’s directors explained their unanimous recommendation to become the Christian Communicators Network:
For more than 75 years, the Evangelical Press Association has served as the premier professional association for evangelical publishers, editors, writers, journalists, and ministry communicators. Through professional development, fellowship, ethical standards, and recognition of excellence, EPA has strengthened Christian journalism and publishing for generations.
That legacy remains one of our greatest strengths.
Over the past year, however, the Board of Directors has engaged in an extensive process of prayer, research, strategic planning, and discussion regarding the future of the organization. Through the Vision Casting Retreat, industry analysis, comparative research, and member feedback, one conclusion became increasingly clear: Our mission has expanded beyond what our current name communicates.
EPA members will vote on the proposal this month. In a Christian Post op-ed, member Mark A. Kellner outlined his opposition to the change.
The Final Plug
Have we devoted enough ink to Dolly Parton’s life and legacy?
Impossible, right?
In last week’s Plug-in, we focused on how Parton lived out her personal faith. For more insight on her spiritual journey, check out Terry Mattingly’s latest column.
Happy Friday, everyone! Enjoy the weekend.
Bobby Ross Jr. writes the Weekend Plug-in column for Religion Unplugged and serves as editor-in-chief of The Christian Chronicle. A former religion writer for The Associated Press and The Oklahoman, Ross has reported from all 50 states and 20 nations. He has covered religion since 1999.