đș âLike Losing A Friendâ: Why Malcolm-Jamal Warnerâs Death Hit Gen Xers So Hard đ
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(ANALYSIS) Oh no, not Theo.
That was my first thought â and that of millions of Generation Xers â when the news broke this week of Malcolm-Jamal Warnerâs accidental drowning death in Costa Rica at age 54.
From 1984 to 1992, Warner starred as Theodore âTheoâ Huxtable on âThe Cosby Show.â For years, NBCâs Thursday night sitcom about an upper-middle-class Black family reigned as Americaâs most popular TV program.
The fictional family â with only son Theo sandwiched between two older and two younger sisters â became a must-see cultural phenomenon. While not overtly religious in nature, the hit show promoted values that resonated strongly with people of faith.
âAmericaâs family,â some called the endearing Huxtables. And Theo was a major reason for the appeal. At a time when prime-time network TV remained appointment viewing (read: pre-streaming era), the final episode drew 44 million viewers.
Everyone, it seemed, loved âThe Cosby Show.â
READ: Family, Faith And A Finale: Why Fans Loved The TV Series âBlue Bloodsâ
âIt didnât matter what race or religion you were,â recalled Clemente Lisi, a Gen Xer and Religion Unpluggedâs executive editor.
But for African American teens in the 1980s, the positive portrayal of a family who looked like them â and ate dinner together and did their best to make proper choices â was especially thrilling.
For Shay Cathey, it didnât hurt that Theo was a heartthrob.
âHe was the boy crush that never broke your heart because he was a really good guy,â said Cathey, 52, a mother of three sons and the senior adviser to a Texas county judge.
âThe Cosby Show,â featuring Malcolm-Jamal Warner, far left, as only son Theo Huxtable, was the most popular show on TV for much of the 1980s. (Photo via NBC)
But the girls werenât the only Gen Xers who felt a strong connection with Theo.
âFor an African American male kid, Theo was your guy,â said Dion Frasier, 51, a Christian minister in Ohio. âHe was the one we resonated with. Whether it was his dealings with school, his interactions with girls, having sisters â I identified with all of that.â
When Barack Obama won election as the nationâs first Black president in 2008, some gave credit to âThe Cosby Showâ for helping pave the way.
They suggested the âdeparture from the dysfunction and bickering that had characterized some previous shows about black families had succeeded in changing racial attitudes enough to make an Obama candidacy possible,â the New York Times reported in November 2008.
READ: Why âThe Waltons,â The Classic TV Show, Wasnât Afraid Of Religion
Warnerâs character âwas not the smartest of the Huxtable kids. He wasnât the coolest,â Washington Post senior critic-at-large Robin Givhan wrote. âBut he was the one who embodied the powerful, delightful, exceptional normalcy of being a Black boy.â
On the first of 197 episodes over eight seasons, 13-year-old Theo tried valiantly to justify his poor report card to his father, Dr. Cliff Huxtable, played by later disgraced comedian Bill Cosby.
âYouâre a doctor, and Momâs a lawyer, and youâre both successful at everything, and thatâs great!â Theo emphasized. âBut maybe I was born to be a regular person and have a regular life. If you werenât a doctor, I wouldnât love you less because youâre my dad. And so, instead of acting disappointed because Iâm not like you, maybe you could accept who I am and love me anyway because Iâm your son.â
The studio audience clapped, but Cliffâs response made it clear this would be no ordinary sitcom â the children would not be portrayed as smarter than the parents.
âTheo, thatâs the dumbest thing Iâve ever heard in my life!â Cosbyâs character replied to laughter from the crowd. âNo wonder you get Dâs in everything. Now, you are afraid to try because youâre afraid that your brain is going to explode, and itâs going to ooze out of your ears. But Iâm telling you that you are going to try as hard as you can. And youâre going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you into this world, and Iâll take you out.â
Even three-plus decades after the show â based loosely on Cosbyâs standup routines and personal life â ended, Warnerâs sudden passing hit longtime fans hard.
âItâs like losing a friend,â Cathey said, âlike a friend you haven't necessarily stayed in touch with, but you always knew where they were.â
Frasier echoed that sentiment: âItâs like youâre losing the dude you most identified with during your formative years. And itâs crazy ⊠because itâs not like he was my neighbor or we went to church together. But he was in our house, so itâs kind of like he was a part of the family.â
I know the feeling, albeit as a White Gen Xer more drawn to the entertainment value of âThe Cosby Showâ than any shattering of negative racial stereotypes.
I watched reruns for years and even enjoyed interviewing Cosby in 2003 before he led a morale-boosting âpep rallyâ at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, then embroiled in a scandal over a basketball playerâs death. But in the years that followed, scandal came for Cosby himself as more than 50 women accused him of sexual assault and misconduct. Cosby served three years in prison before a judge threw out his sexual assault conviction in 2021.
Turned off by those negative headlines, I â like a lot of fans of the show â hit the pause button on my love and affection for the Huxtables.
News of Warnerâs death made me reflect on the show for the first time in a long while â and wonder if it might be time to put the art ahead of Cosbyâs alleged misdeeds.
Taneise Perry, an advertising executive and entrepreneur who lives in South Carolina, advocates that approach.
âI am very much able to separate the art from the person,â Perry, 47, a Black mother of three sons, told me. âItâs a television show, right? And at the time, we certainly werenât aware of the indiscretions that were occurring with Bill Cosby. So I have nothing but nostalgic and good feelings with regard to the show.â
Perry posted on Facebook that Warnerâs legacy â as Theo â âlives on in the Black boys who finally saw themselves represented ⊠free from stereotypes. Excellent and human at the same time.â
Unlike Cosby, Warner maintained his positive reputation throughout his life. Although he kept his life outside his acting career private, Beliefnet noted:
In recent years, Warner also opened up about his spiritual journey, sharing his Christian faith with quiet conviction. He posted on social media about trusting in Christ and emphasized the importance of treating others well, rooted in Christâs teachings. In 2016, he became an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church, and he often discussed the need for compassion, redemption, and grace. Warner once said he believed that âgood works without Christ are meaninglessâ and that âGod is love, not a dictator.â
(Itâs not difficult to get ordained by the Universal Life Church. Warner apparently did so to officiate the wedding of a friend. I did so myself in 2001 to show what $29.95 could buy you quickly.)
Since this is a religion column, Iâll note that âThe Cosby Showâ seldom, if ever, dealt directly with faith. I donât recall the family ever going to a house of worship (I am open to corrections on this point!).
Yet people of faith who watched the show often saw their principles reflected in the Huxtables â be it properly disciplining a child caught misbehaving or demonstrating compassion to a neighbor in need.
âFor most of us, how they lived their lives â at least in our living rooms on Thursday nights â was an extension of how we lived our lives as Christians,â Cathey said. âYou could find your faith and your values in that show very easily.â
Shay Cathey with her three sons. (Photo provided by Shay Cathey)
Perry agreed: âJust how they were able to take those everyday situations and just turn it into comedy and something that the entire family could sit down and laugh at was a huge moment for American culture.â
After starting with the focus on teenage Theoâs bad grades, the series ended eight years later with the 21-year-old receiving a degree in psychology from New York University â a major accomplishment after he dealt with learning challenges such as dyslexia.
READ: âReaganâ Movie: Godâs Purpose In Former Presidentâs Life Emerges As A Central Theme
âTheo kind of made it cool and accepting â in an African American community â to be smart, to go to school, to get your degree,â Frasier said. âAnd it was a family that reinforced that.
âThatâs very much ethics that we teach in our churches and in our faith communities,â the minister added, âbut itâs certainly suggestive of the values that weâve grown up in church learning.â
Those values â as well as the laudable character Warner demonstrated after âThe Cosby Showâ â help explain why so many are mourning the actorâs tragic death.
Inside The Godbeat
We said goodbye this week â at least for now â to my Christian Chronicle colleague Audrey Jackson, whoâs moving from Oklahoma City to Louisville, Kentucky, where her fiancĂ©, Zach, is completing a residency in emergency medicine.
Journalist Audrey Jackson and Tamie Ross, wife of Weekend Plug-in columnist Bobby Ross Jr., enjoy a Texas Rangers-New York Mets game at Citi Field in New York in 2023. (Photo by Bobby Ross Jr.)
Check out her farewell column and her final story â from El Salvador, the 18th country her Chronicle work took her.
Weâll miss you, Audrey, but we wish you all the best!
The Final Plug
Itâs an internet conspiracy theory: Celebrities die in threes.
Besides Malcolm Jamal-Warnerâs passing, the deaths of rock legend Ozzy Osbourne at 76 and wrestler Hulk Hogan at 71 made headlines this week.
Despite his dark lyrics, Osbourne described himself as a Christian and denied worshiping the devil. Hogan shared the news of his baptism and âtotal surrender and dedication to Jesusâ in 2023.
Happy Friday, everyone! Enjoy the weekend.
Bobby Ross Jr. writes the Weekend Plug-in column for Religion Unplugged and serves as editor-in-chief of The Christian Chronicle. A former religion writer for The Associated Press and The Oklahoman, Ross has reported from all 50 states and 18 nations. He has covered religion since 1999.