Polygamy Debate Reignited in Kenya After Viral Widow’s Confession
NAIROBI, Kenya — Akinyi Kaula recently lit the social media scene in Kenya, stating that she had postponed the “American Dream,” dropped out of her nursing degree studies and flew back to her homeland of Kenya only to end up in a polygamous marriage.
Speaking at a funeral service of her departed husband, Peter Kaula, Akinyi, in a video clip that went viral, said that when she reached Kenya and realized the man, Peter, had another wife, she became angry and wanted to go back to the United States and continue with her education. Until her new in-laws talked her into staying.
Although their union started on a not-so-good footing, Akinyi told mourners gathered at their home in the western part of Kenya that she had quickly adjusted and got the best treatment from Peter and her co-wife.
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The confession kicked off a major debate of the pros and cons of a practice that is a somewhat normal part of African life, but which modernity and embracing Christianity have spelled doom for.
Around the same time, a respected senator, Richard Onyonka, surprised the country when he revealed that he had fathered several children with five women, including a high-ranking United Nations staff member based in New York.
Onyonka later disclosed that his polygamous unions were fraught with risks, including misunderstandings between the women involved.
In an interview with a local radio station, Onyonka said he decided to take full responsibility for raising his children after family disagreements, stating that he now lives with and directly cares for them.
“So, I have decided to just pick up the kids and run with them. And my kids are happy, and they love me, and I love them,” he said.
Rev. Edward Ondachi said that although popular in the Old Testament and in African traditions, polygamy was not in God’s original plan, adding that those who engaged in it ultimately paid a steep price.
Prof. J.S. Mbiti is perhaps the ultimate authority on African traditions and Christianity. In his foundational text, “African Religions and Philosophy,” Mbiti argued that while monogamy is the Christian ideal, polygamous marriages in Africa can be successful, happy and valid when grounded in deep love, understanding, and community acceptance.
Mbiti was highly critical of the Western missionary approach that forced African polygamists to abandon all but one spouse before baptism. He viewed this demand as an insensitive practice that severed deep social ties and often left abandoned women and children destitute.
In his recent tour of Africa, Pope Leo XIV heard testimonies, including one from the King of Mankon, Fon Fru Asaah Angwafor IV, who thanked Leo for the papal mandate given to the Synod of Bishops, the Pope’s global advisory board, to study the question of polygamy.
The report said that although technically illegal, polygamy is generally socially accepted in Angola and is also somewhat common in nearby countries. Earlier this year, Catholic Bishops in Africa released a report, acknowledging that monogamy is the “biblical ideal,” but also outlining the delicate personal, financial and family challenges that would come with a polygamist family choosing to fully immerse themselves in Catholic teachings and the church.
“We are waiting for the results of [the Synod of Bishops study] so that those traditional rulers and people who are in that situation may be able to worship God freely in the church without being judged or rejected within the same Church,” Angwafor said.
Many who contributed to the growing polygamy debate in Kenya raised what they termed as the Western world’s strange value system, where homosexuality, which is an anathema to many African cultures, seems to be celebrated while polygamy is demonized.
But they generally agreed polygamy was an expensive enterprise and that for it to be successful, the husband in question must be a man of means.
Social commentator Oyoo Mboya said his own experience with polygamy left a bitter taste in his mouth. He reached an agreement with his wife that he would take in a second wife. However, after just a few months, the second wife started throwing tantrums, saying ‘she could never share her man’.
“Funny thing, isn’t it? The woman who entered a polygamous marriage suddenly discovered she wanted monogamy after all,” Mboya said. “What followed was a long and exhausting emotional storm that left all three of us bruised and alone for some time.”
Mboya added: “Eventually, the second wife moved on and got married elsewhere. My first wife and I, after dragging our wounded marriage through enough torment and argument, somehow found our way back to each other. To this day, she still laughs about it.”
Tom Osanjo is a Nairobi-based correspondent for ReligionUnplugged.com. He is a former parliamentary reporter and has covered sports, politics and more for Kenya’s Daily Nation newspaper.