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(OPINION) This weekend, men at the Stronger Men’s Conference, hosted by Pastor John Lindell and James River Church in Springfield, Missouri, witnessed quite the spectacle of what evangelicalism has become.

The conference opened with an act by “bad boy” Alex Magala, a daredevil sword-swallower who moonlights as a pole-dancing striptease artist at gay nightclubs. The next day, disgraced bully pastor Mark Driscoll slammed the “strip” act as exhibiting the “Jezebel spirit” — and then got “Matthew 18ed” and booted off the stage by Pastor Lindell.

The annual Stronger Men’s Conferences have always bordered on the ridiculous, mixing Christianity with professional bull riding, monster trucks, boxing and other shows of masculinity. But Magala’s performance was the worst act yet, revealing Lindell’s inexcusable lack of discernment and the depths to which he’ll stoop to attract a crowd.

It was so bad, Driscoll unloaded when he took the stage.

“The Jezebel spirit opened our event,” Driscoll said, after explaining he was hoarse because he had been up since 1 a.m. praying. “Before the word of God was opened, there was a platform. It was a high place. On it was a pole, an Asherah — the same thing that’s used in a strip club for women, who have the Jezebel spirit to seduce men.

“In front of that was a man, who ripped his shirt off like a woman does in front of a pole at a strip club. That man then ascended. See, our God is not arrogant. He doesn’t ascend. Our God is humble. He descends.”

Lindell then shouted, “You’re out of line, Mark!”

Driscoll continued for about a half-sentence. But when Lindell shouted, “Mark!” Driscoll responded, “Okay, Pastor John, I’ll receive that.”

“You’re done!” Lindell shouted, and Mark walked off stage.

Lindell then took the stage as the crowd loudly objected and even began chanting, “Bring him back! Bring him back!”

But Lindell cleverly brought the crowd under control.

“Mark is out of line,” Lindell said. “If Mark wanted to say that, he should have said it to me first. Matthew 18! Matthew 18! If your brother offends you, go to him privately.”

Lindell then said he had talked to Driscoll for a half-hour, but Driscoll hadn’t said a thing about his offense. 

“You may not agree with me. You may not agree with him. But we are brothers in Christ. And there’s a right way to handle disagreement. And I’m just telling you, I’m not going to sit back and watch somebody do publicly what they should have done privately. And as a pastor and a man of God, I’ll call another man of God out.”

The irony

Public confrontation between two megachurch pastors is pretty uncommon. This is especially the case when one of the pastors, Driscoll, is largely discredited within evangelicalism for his bullying and deceit — and the other, Lindell, is one of the few megas still willing to associate with him.

But what happened at the conference is also unprecedented. As one person commented on social media, “If disqualified @PastorMark has to rebuke your church, it’s time to close the doors immediately. This is ‘church’ now, rock concerts and strip shows.”

As someone who’s reported extensively on Driscoll and spoken to many who have been profoundly harmed by him, I agree with that sentiment. Driscoll is bad. But Lindell may be equally bad. And his conference is an embarrassment to the gospel.

But what really struck me about the fiasco this weekend was the irony of it all. Here was Driscoll — a master manipulator and spiritual abuser, who had used Matthew 18 numerous times to control and manipulate people — getting Matthew 18ed by another pastor!

For those not familiar with Matthew 18, the passage tells anyone with a personal offence to take his offence first to the person who offended him, one on one. If the person won’t listen, take one or two others to confront him. If the person still refuses to listen, tell it to the church. And if he won’t listen to the church, “let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

The passage concerns personal offenses, not the misconduct of pastors and Christian leaders. For that, turn to 1 Timothy 5:20, which instructs the church to rebuke sinning elders “in the presence of all, so that others may stand in fear.”

Yet, spiritual abusers routinely use Matthew 18 to keep misconduct and scandal from becoming public.

For example, Mike Bickle and other leaders at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City regularly used Matthew 18 to silence those who accused Bickle of clergy sexual abuse.

When former IHOPKC leader Dwayne Roberts came to then-IHOPKC Executive Director Stuart Greaves with allegations of Bickle’s sexual abuse, Greaves reportedly refused to meet with Roberts. Greaves instead instructed Roberts to conduct a “Matthew 18 process” and confront Bickle one on one.

Similarly, Bickle insisted that the husband of his main “Jane Doe” victim meet one-on-one with Bickle and not bring any witnesses.

This is absurd and incredibly manipulative, but it’s often effective in containing allegations and scandal. It’s likely why the abuse of Bickle, Driscoll and so many other powerful pastors stay hidden for so long. Abusive pastors weaponize Matthew 18 and employ it regularly.

So, in August 2014, as allegations of Driscoll’s bullying and abuse at his former Mars Hill Church were finally reaching a boiling point, Driscoll employed Matthew 18 to try and shame whistleblowers into silence.

“I want to thank those who have come directly to an elder, lead pastor or me to tell us of an offense they are carrying,” Driscoll told his congregation when announcing his pending leave of absence. “This allows us to deal with it head-on between the two affected parties, rather than in a court of public opinion and public media. I believe God is honored by this approach — the approach He prescribed for us in Matthew 18 and other Scriptures.

“Others have chosen to air their grievances with me or this church in a more public forum. ... Lately, the number of accusations, combined with their public nature, makes it much more difficult to know how to respond appropriately.”

What Driscoll said sounds spiritual — just as what Pastor Lindell said to conference-goers last weekend sounded spiritual, as well. But it’s not. The only thing spiritual about it is that it’s spiritual abuse. It’s twisting Scripture to shame and control people.

Yet, it was hard to feel sympathy for Driscoll when Lindell gave him a taste of his own medicine last weekend. As Galatians 6:7 says, “A man reaps what he sows.”

But that wasn’t the only irony playing out last weekend. Over the years, Driscoll has become known as one of the most vulgar and sexually graphic pastors in evangelicalism. So, for him to self-righteously call out a bawdy act at a Christian event was super ironic.

This is the man who called women “penis homes” and whose sermons in Scotland were so vulgar, he was asked not to return to the country. (While there, Driscoll reportedly commanded women to give men oral sex.)

In his book, “Real Marriage,” Driscoll condones sodomy, while admitting it’s more common today “due to the increase in pornography.”

Driscoll also was known as the “cussing pastor” due to his foul mouth, and even began a sermon once with, “F—- you!” Though he’s publicly apologized for some of this language, former staff at Driscoll’s new Trinity Church told me he uses the f-word frequently and berates his staff, saying they lack “balls” and are “p-ssies.”

Driscoll is not a righteous man calling a generation to holiness. He is a cruel, crass and misogynistic bully, who last weekend went after his favorite targets — gays and men he thinks mimic women.

Though many of us share Driscoll’s disgust over a stripper at a Christian conference, it doesn’t change the fact that Driscoll is a disqualified pastor who’s harmed scores of people with whom he’s never tried to reconcile.

I get a bit nervous when I see people commenting on X that they admire Driscoll’s “integrity” and “courage” and that he’s a needed “strong prophetic and corrective” voice. If these people really think this, then they likely haven’t done their homework, or their heads are buried in the sand.

Don’t criticize those with ‘anointing’

But apparently, Driscoll and Lindell, despite their public brouhaha, have made amends. Later in the conference, the two appeared on stage together and gushed over one another.

Lindell likened Driscoll to John the Baptist and called him the “Spurgeon of our day” — a reference to famous Baptist preacher Charles Spurgeon.

Driscoll got emotional talking about how Lindell had been a great friend to him during “one of the hardest seasons of my life.” And he called the Stronger Men’s Conference “one of the greatest men’s events ... in the country right now.”

Stunningly, neither pastor addressed the issue that had divided them. Lindell didn’t apologize for inviting Magala but instead downplayed the importance of the issue, saying the two men agreed about what was important.

Similarly, Driscoll said, “The things that matter, we agree on.” Driscoll also apologized for not talking to Lindell, “the father of the house,” about airing his convictions, so Lindell “could give me a thumbs up or down.”

So apparently, having a stripper at a Christian men’s event doesn’t matter to Driscoll, after all. What matters is following the chain of command. Why? Because abusive pastors don’t ultimately care about the gospel, or saving the culture or upholding holiness; they care about control.

Lindell showed his true colors too.

“Here’s the thing,” he said, addressing the audience. “You have to be careful that you do not criticize people who have the anointing of God on them. Better to say nothing. Because what happens is, once you begin to criticize somebody who has the anointing on them, you’re in the flesh. And once you’re in the flesh, then you’re moving toward unbelief. And once you move toward unbelief, then you live a barren life spiritually.”

And this highlights the final irony of the past weekend — that for all the bravado and hype, the Stronger Men’s Conference isn’t about empowering men to act. It’s about grooming them to be weaker and more subservient — not to God, but to their abusive, male pastors.

This story first appeared at the Roys Report.

Julie Roys is a veteran investigative reporter and founder of The Roys Report. She also previously hosted a national talk show on the Moody Radio Network, called Up for Debate, and has worked as a TV reporter for a CBS affiliate. Her articles have appeared in numerous periodicals.