A survivor debunks myths some Christians believe about sex trafficking

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A survivor speaks:

“In the United States, trafficking looks way different and it almost hides behind this lens of ‘choice.’ “

Ava (last name withheld for privacy) is a Fulfillment Coordinator and Sales Enthusiast at Savhera, a Texas-based wellness social enterprise that gives dignified employment to sex trafficking survivors and sells essential oils and diffusers.

ReligionUnplugged contributor Elsa Cruz talked to Ava about misconceptions some Christians have about human trafficking: false, incomplete, misguided, unhelpful and even harmful ideas. She has both praises and criticisms of how American Christians are responding to prostitution.

Elsa: Ava, welcome! So excited to be talking with you and thanks so much for being so generous with your time and energy. Maybe we can just get started with you telling us a little bit about your job at Savhera – what are your favorite things about your job and tell us a little bit about your background and how you came to work with Savhera.

Ava: Thank you so much for having me. This is amazing and an honor, so I appreciate the opportunity. I am a survivor of human trafficking. I was trafficked for most of my adult life – in the United States, across the nation. And I was actually rescued by being arrested. And so when I was arrested was the first time that I was able to get away from my trafficker, and I realized that I needed something different. And that what my trafficker had been doing to me was wrong. And so I went to an organization called Valiant Hearts and lived there in the safe house. From the charges that I had gotten when I was rescued, I had an ankle monitor on and it was really hard for me to heal and reintegrate into society, but that was actually how I met Savhera. 

Savhera is arms wide open. They want to offer employment to survivors of human trafficking, but they [the survivors] don't have any qualifications. Because at the time I had no job history because I had been trafficked for my whole adulthood. I had a criminal background that was very extensive. I had an ankle monitor on, I was on probation and I also wasn't legally allowed to get a bank account. So there was a lot hindering me from entering the formal sector, you could say. And Savhera kind of looked past all of those things and just said, “I know that you don't have those [qualifications], not because of you, but because of what someone did to you.” They hired me about a year and a half ago. And so it has been amazing working with them. They're a really set aside company and have helped me through stuff even outside of work. [They] have empowered me to go to school. And so now, today I am in college and I have a full-time job. And so things are going really well. The Lord is good.  

Elsa: That's so amazing. I love that. And you know, I think it's important that you touched on how you came to work at Savhera, because I think a lot of people don't understand the challenges that a survivor faces.

Ava: Absolutely.

Elsa: I love that about Savhera and thanks for sharing a little bit about your story. Okay, so let's jump right into Christian misconceptions around human trafficking. And so just to set the stage, Ava, maybe you can tell us a little bit about your experience with the Christian church, just so we have an idea of where you're coming from in that context.

Ava: Definitely. The organization that I lived at called Valiant Hearts was a Christian organization and they taught me the love of God and taught me how Jesus loves. And I remember when I first got there, I was not nice and I wasn't nice because I was so scared. All I had known my entire existence was that if you do something for me, I then owe you and I have to give you something of me. And I didn't have anything to give. And so they loved me unconditionally, really no strings attached, no judgment, no condemnation, and really taught me like who Jesus was, his character, how much he loved me. And we dove into the New Testament and some of the Old, and they just taught me what it looks like to be a believer. It was just amazing, such a great experience. I've also had hurts in the church. I went to an evangelical congregation and just a lot of things that they were doing were not the Jesus that I had known. But I now go to a different church and it's amazing. You know, God is not bound by the church. It's been a beautiful journey for sure.

Elsa: I love that. I think probably a lot of people listening or reading can really relate. I know I can. That discrepancy between who Jesus is and then how people reflect who they think he is. So, what would you say are some of the myths and the misconceptions that Christians in particular as a group get hung up on when it comes to human trafficking?

Ava: I think that the biggest one I see is the sensationalism behind trafficking. That you're getting stolen off of your front porch and you're chained to a bed and you're being repeatedly drugged and raped. And yes, that absolutely does happen. But in the United States, trafficking looks way different and it almost hides behind this lens of “choice.” And so someone would just think that the woman is prostituting herself or something like that. I feel like the biggest misconception, especially in the Christian realm, is just that it's not the movie Taken in the United States. It can be, but that is the minority. The majority you know, looks very much like chosen prostitution. But it's not.

Elsa: So have you, in your personal interactions with Christians as you go through your journey as a survivor, observed these Christian beliefs or tendencies directly influencing survivor care efforts in a misguided or ineffective way?

Ava: Yes. It's not across the board. I have definitely met Christians that know the heart of Jesus and that advocate for these things. But I also met a group of Christians that for some reason, have the misconception that therapy is not needed because if you have something wrong with you – if you have PTSD, if you have anxiety – then you can just pray and rub your God magic genie, and he will immediately heal you. And so they kind of discouraged psychoactive drugs and they say that therapy isn't needed. I truly believe that the Lord has downloaded into his people these mechanisms, so that his babies can live a fruitful life. And some of us who have had copious amounts of trauma that others couldn't even fathom, they do need extra help. They have literal chemical imbalances and they also need that helping hand.

 They need wise counsel that can give them the tools to be able to sustain life. I see that a lot in the evangelical churches that “no, you'll be healed. You just need to pray.” And I always like to say, God is the one that chooses that though. If we pray and it doesn't happen, that doesn't mean that we have less faith. That means that he has a different plan. And so that's a huge misconception: that therapy and psychoactive drugs are not needed for a survivor. They're almost stigmatized, which is very disheartening.

Elsa: And you know, an act of faith could be going to therapy.

Ava: Yes, absolutely!

Elsa: I really want to touch on a few things you said earlier to me, about what you would say to Christian parents. You mentioned you've had some issues getting Christian parents to care about this issue of human trafficking because they say, “it's not going to happen to my child.”

Ava: Yeah. So in the church, I have heard so many people say “it could be your child.” And it prompts this visceral response from the parents of “oh my gosh, it could be my kid.” And statistically speaking, the women that are being trafficked are normally minorities. They come from poverty, they're in foster care. Yes, it can happen to any child, but that shouldn't be the reason you care about trafficking. You shouldn't care about trafficking because it might be your kid that's trafficked. You should care about trafficking because the women that are being trafficked and the men that are being trafficked are Jesus's sons and daughters and they’re my sisters and brothers. No human should be treated like this. It's a sin. And so that's why you should care about trafficking. It shouldn't be because your child could potentially be trafficked because then it then takes the other hand of, “I don't care about trafficking anymore because I know it won't be my kid.”

Elsa: Or I don't have kids, so I don't need to care.

Ava: Yeah, exactly. But parents do have an active role in the prevention aspect. Because your kid might not be trafficked, they could still be sexually exploited, which is huge. I feel like in the Christian Church, not talking about sex is detrimental. You need to have open conversations with your children about what sex is and what healthy sex looks like. And to be able to have a line of trust between you and your child. If something happens, it's an open conversation. They feel that they can trust you and talk to you. And so when they get older and a man comes up to them and says, “You're so beautiful. I can give you the life you've always dreamed of like, come with me, do this favor for me. And I'll do all of this for you.” They'll go back and tell you. That way it's prevention and your child won't have to go through some of the things that other children have to go through. But it starts with you, and your actions towards helping and preventing.

Elsa: That's a really important. A lot of times, in my experience, the church focuses on the rescue of human trafficking victims, but not so much the prevention. So that's super important. To bring it back to helping survivors: what is the church missing, in your opinion, when the church tries to help survivors? 

Ava: I think that there are two aspects of it. The church is missing wisdom and humility in my experience. That's what I have seen. Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel and instead of trying to come in and be the savior, it's letting the people that have walked before you that are in the mud right now helping survivors, it's getting behind them. It’s saying, “I really care about this issue, but I don't know a lot about it. I don't know much about trafficking, but I want to help you because you've been in this space and you know what you're doing. And so I'm going to partner with you and we're going to try and fight this together.” And so it's just unifying the church and Christians as a whole to be able to say this is way too big for one of us or all of us.

It's only the Lord that can do it. And so we need to come together and partner. And so you don't have to be a therapist. You don't have to be a case manager. You can be a banker because women that are getting out of the game can't get bank accounts. Or you could be a marketer  and help the organization with things like that. There are so many ways to fight human trafficking. It's more hurting when you're like, I'm going to get right beside a survivor and I'm going to help her when you don't know anything about her, you know? You need to partner with the people that know a lot about her and know how to help her specifically. Because it is a very intricate form of abuse mentally, psychologically and physically. Letting the people that know go forward and partnering with their wisdom. That's how we can really help.

Elsa: So, being educated and then listening to experts – particularly the voices of survivors – and having survivors in leadership is really important. You mentioned earlier that you did have some good interactions with the church and with Christians. What made those positive interactions different from the negative interactions you had? Is it a question of the posture that someone had, the education, the attitude? What would you say?

Ava: I would definitely say that holistically speaking, it was all of them. So the organization that I went to was a Christian organization and they were so humble. They were never trying to control me. They weren't ever trying to tell me about myself. They also knew about trauma. And they knew that the reason why I was acting the way that I was wasn't because I was mad at them. And it wasn't because of me as a human, it was because of the circumstances of my life and what I did in order to survive. And so they had the knowledge coupled with the wisdom and humility and then all of that baptized in the holy spirit. That was just an amazing opportunity. Also a huge thing was that they listened to me. When I said something, none of my words went void and they wanted to help me in any way that [they] could and always championed me.

It wasn't like, oh, because all of this has happened to you, you can't do this.

I have crazy dreams. I always have since I was a little girl. And they've championed me through those and I'm on the map of those dreams. I would ask my case manager a question and her response would always baffle me because it would be, “Okay, let me pray about that. And I'll let you know.” They always were at the Lord's feet and were asking him and were humble in doing so and knowledgeable at the same time.

Elsa: So the humility aspect, but also the education. And it takes humility to be educated to realize, I don't know all of this.

Ava: Absolutely.

Elsa: I really want to go back to something you said in the beginning about the misconception of choice. I think that's really pivotal. I don't know if you would agree, but in my experience Christians tend to have a very one-sided view of this idea of “choice” or prostitution. What I mean is that generally, I feel like Christians use the word “prostitute” to mean a woman who's choosing to be there. You know, Christians love that phrase, “sexual sin” or “sexual immorality.” In my experience – I was raised in the church – I grew up associating the word prostitute with a choice, like a sinful woman, a woman who's choosing to be there instead of a woman who is most likely being exploited. I didn't have that association until I was an adult and started doing my own research. So does this influence the way that Christians understand the connection between prostitution and trafficking? Because as you and I know, women are most often forced into prostitution. It's not a choice, it's not their fault. So what do Christians need to understand about this connection?

Ava: I can understand why it is a misconception to them. Prostitution is in Genesis, you know? But that's why knowledge is so integral because statistically speaking, up to 84 percent of those women that are prostituted or in prostitution have had some sort of sexual trauma, physical trauma, or have been homeless. And so we have to stop this concept that it's a sin. I like to explain it like this: sexual morality is absolutely a sin, but they might not be believers. So what is a sin to them and who are we to judge them for their sins?

Because we sin as well. And we know the Lord, you know what I mean? And so even though they are in the midst of what, from the outside, looks like a sin, they might not know that it's a sin. They might not have the same convictions that we have. And Jesus hung out with people that were ostracized for sin. And he didn't hang out with the Pharisees. He hung out with the people at the ground level – tax collectors and all. And so we need to stop acting like we're coming from a higher position because we know what sin is and they don't. And also, I like to explain it with the idea of poker. You're handed a deck of cards. When you start out, when you're first born, when you come into this earth, you're handed a deck of cards. Your deck of cards might be all royalty, a royal flush. My deck of cards might be jokers. And one ace. I don't know how to play this deck because so many choices have already been taken away from me. And so if you're homeless on the side of the road and you have to feed your child and you have nothing to give someone besides your body, you're going to self-sacrifice yourself in order to feed your child. You know what I mean? And so we cannot judge these women. And also, from my lived experience, I have never met a woman that has willingly chosen prostitution. Because I never met one who has not been severely sexually assaulted, abused, in foster care, both of her parents left her, or in some sort of circumstance that led them to then prostitute themselves.

Also, there's no differentiation in the United States – a prostituting woman who is circumstantially prostituting herself, and someone who is being trafficked is going to look exactly the same. And so now that we have this information, it should not go void from our ears. We now know it looks exactly the same, so we cannot judge one or the other, because we don't even know which one is which. We just have to love and just go about showing the love of Christ, and he would not judge us. Regardless if they're a prostitute or not, they deserve Jesus. And so don't condemn them. That is under the definition of sexual immorality, but also your porn addiction is as well. And you lusting over women at the grocery store is as well. And women lusting over men. So you're not Jesus. And so you have sins as well. And so do not judge his daughters. Or his sons.

Elsa: Wow, that's good.

Ava: That’s one of my soap box topics.

Elsa: I think everyone needs to hear this. I think the word “prostitute” or the idea of prostitution is so stigmatized without people even understanding what it means. Put “choice” in quotation marks, what is a choice? You know, I heard a quote once that “you can think of it as like the choice of the people who have the fewest choices.” And so is it really a choice? You know what I mean? If you're choosing to let your children starve or to go into prostitution, it's not really a choice. That's not how we would think of choice.

Ava: Right.

Elsa: I love your perspective on that.

So we've been talking more about survivor care. But I also really want to talk about advocacy and raising awareness in the fight against human trafficking, because I think that's where a lot of people start. A lot of people have good intentions, they want to raise awareness about this issue. They want to be advocates. And of course this is all connected to survivor care, but because the misconceptions and the myths can start in the beginning and influence those people who are simply trying to raise awareness, I think it can then influence the survivors down the line in a negative way. I don't want to harp on Christians too much. I know like we discussed, a lot of Christians are doing a really effective job at helping survivors. I just think this subject of Christian misconceptions is so important because Christians as a group claim to care about justice and about advocating for the oppressed. But you know, good intentions aren't enough.

We need advocates who are educated. And I think Christians are a group who can be incredible allies to survivors, but in order to do so, these would-be advocates need a realistic picture of what trafficking looks like, how it happens, the implications it has for the victim, and what survivors really need. So I would really like to hear what would you tell a Christian who is trying to channel their beliefs, their convictions, and their responsibility as a Christian into this idea of advocacy or raising awareness. How can Christians be better advocates?

Ava: I would definitely tell them to start from ground zero. Like you said, just read books. There are so many books! Because if you don't know about the subject, you can't talk about the subject. I mean, you can, but you're going to do more harm than good. So learn about it. And then also, there's so many orgs that will have nights where they're talking about human trafficking.

And then, the key thing about advocating is talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. It's not a taboo.  it's not something that happens in a different country. It is something that's hidden from culture in the world today, and so we need to bring it to the light. As Christians that is literally what we are called to do: bring light to darkness. And so the best way to do that is to just talk about it, have it be an open conversation. If we meet someone and we can tell them about human trafficking, we want what we say to have truth. Everything that we say we want to weigh against the word of God. And we also want to know that it's true, and that we're not falsifying information. And so I would just say, talk about it and know about it.

And then, another thing about the word advocate is that it refers to a lawyer. So a lawyer is advocating for the person that has been wrongly accused. And so that's how we need to look at the word advocate – we are the lawyers because these women have been robbed of their voices. And we want to advocate to our people until that woman is empowered enough so that she can use her voice. Because survivors can speak, don't get it twisted!

Elsa: I’m hearing it!  

Ava: In the meantime though, we need to advocate and we need to let people know. And we need to use our privilege and our clout in order to lift up the oppressed, not to oppress them even more.

Elsa: Wow. That's so good. Do you have any orgs that you would recommend to people if they want to get educated?

Ava: Oh, absolutely. Polaris is a good one just for statistics, figuring out what trafficking looks like. Then two survivor leaders that I would highly recommend listening to: Rebecca Bender and Rebekah Charleston. Both of those survivor leaders have been in the space for over 10 years and they are gifted and talented in teaching and both Christians. They are very gifted women. So talk to survivors, go to Polaris.com, and partner.

Elsa: That's great. We talked about the misconceptions around the word “prostitution” or “prostitute.” Are there any other terms or phrases or language that Christians need to either leave behind or adjust in order to communicate what's actually happening in trafficking and to be more sensitive to survivors?

Ava: Yeah, absolutely. I mean the words to use with survivors – I could talk about it for hours because there are so many. So many things that might seem uplifting in our Christianese language, but they have no idea what's going on. Like I remember when I first got out of the game, someone came up to me and they were praying over me and laying hands. And I left and I looked at my house parent – which is someone that lives in the safe house with me – and I was like, I have no idea what they just said. I did not understand a word that they said, because they were talking in biblical terms. You know what I mean? I was such a baby Christian. I was still drinking milk, you know? You’re throwing this steak at me. I didn't know what they were talking about. And so I think the Christianese needs to stop and the human needs to begin, you know?

And also, I think that there needs to be training before interacting with the women, because it's trauma and trauma hurts. I could definitely talk about horrific instances where people have said things to survivors that have completely triggered them and sent them in the opposite direction when the Christian person was trying to propel them forward.

I do want to talk about the word prostitute because Vanessa Bouché – the founder of Savhera – is actually who talked to me about this and I love it. And I think it's so important. When we are saying that that woman is a prostitute, we are giving her the identity of a prostitute. And as we all know, identity is something that humans struggle with. Our identity is in Christ and we know that. And so we cannot attach something that someone has done or something that someone has been forced to do to their identity, because it stunts you in the spiritual realm and in the physical realm. Once you've been labeled with something, it's like the Scarlet Letter and you have to walk around with it. That is not a prostitute. That is a prostituted woman. Regardless if it's circumstantial prostitution, or if it's forced prostitution, it's not her identity. If we believe that when we come to Christ that we are born again, and if we believe the biblical truths, then we need to believe that none of those women that are still stuck in the game are walking in their true identity. They are all lost and the Lord will find them, but we need to love them in order for them to see the Lord as well. And we need to be his vessels. So I think that attaching that identity, we need to stop that language.

Elsa: That's so powerful. I have one more question for you, Ava. This week I was listening to Brené Brown's podcast and I listened to the episode with Tarana Burke who started the #metoo movement. And one thing that Tarana said that I thought was so powerful is that trauma is isolating. And when you explain something traumatic that happened to you or that you've been through, and then someone else says “me too,” you immediately feel like you're not alone. So Ava, how can people who have not been through sexual trauma or trafficking or similar experiences help remind you and other survivors that you're not alone?

Ava: Yeah, that's great. A huge mentor to me has been Vanessa [Bouché] and she has not been trafficked. My case manager has not been trafficked. A lot of people that I love have not been, but they're still vulnerable. Although they haven't been trafficked, there are many elements to trauma, you know? They might not have been sexually assaulted and they might not have been trafficked, but they've dealt with depression before, you know? Or they've dealt with the loss of their mother. Or they've dealt with some sort of element or aspect that poses vulnerability and vulnerability is basically an open door to say, “wow, you're entrusting me with that raw part of your heart. And that thing that happened to you.” Because I mean, not everybody has been trafficked and my dream and goal and wish is that no one else has to be, you know? 

So it is important to not say to someone “I know what you've been through,” or “I understand what you've been through.” But saying, “hey, I haven't been through what you've been through and I have not experienced what you've experienced, but you are strong and you are resilient. And there are aspects that I can relate to, but I have no idea what it's like, but I just want to let you know that, that you made it and now you're here and now me and you are the same.” Ostracization is a hierarchy perspective and standards of you're down here because of what's happened to you. But once you are vulnerable with someone, then it's an equal level playing ground. Then it's like, wait, I'm up here with you? You know? So I think it's just a holistic view of vulnerability, honesty, and, and making sure that you don't say that you know what it's like, cause you don't. And I don't know what being a square** is like. I don't know what living a normal life without trauma looks like. So I can't say that I know what your life is like. So I think it's just important to point out the differences, point out the similarities and be able to connect not necessarily through the “metoo,” but through the, that sucks that you went through that, but I love you regardless, you know?

Elsa: Ava, thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I feel so much more educated and more empowered, just listening to you. So thank you so much for your time and your energy. And thanks for being vulnerable. I think you're going to help a lot of people understand how they can help, which is I think what people ultimately in their best intentions want to do. So thank you so much, Ava. It was just an honor to talk to you and I can't wait for everyone to hear your voice and your perspective.

Ava: Thank you. I appreciate that. And thank you for having me today. It was an honor. 

EXTRA: Information And Links For Readers On This Topic:

*Up to 84% of prostituted women and girls are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, according to multiple studies by Prostitution Research & Education and a survey by the teen homelessness organization Covenant House.

** a “square” is a term used among people in trafficking and prostitution to describe someone who is not “in the life [of trafficking or prostitution]” or “in the game” and therefore, doesn’t understand what it’s like.

Human trafficking and survivor care resources referenced during the interview:

Elsa Cruz works part-time in marketing for Savhera, a social enterprise that creates dignified jobs and a trauma-informed workplace for women who have survived sex trafficking. Wilson is an alumna of The King’s College in NYC.

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