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(OPINION) Moments after the Academy Awards slap heard ‘round the world, Will Smith huddled during a commercial break with Denzel Washington, another of the Best Actor nominees.

No one could hear what Smith discussed with the man who is both an A-list player and the rare Hollywood superstar who has — after years in hot press spotlights — emerged as a mentor on issues of faith and family.

But Smith appeared to have Washington on his mind during his emotional remarks after winning the Oscar for his work in “King Richard.” Smith apologized to his peers for slap-punching Chris Rock after his jest about Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, and her shaved head. Rock apparently didn’t know she was suffering hair loss from alopecia.

“In this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world. ... I’m being called on in my life to love people and to protect people,” said Smith, tears on his face. “I know that to do what we do, you’ve got to be able to take abuse; you’ve got to be able to have people talk crazy about you. In this business, you’ve got to be able to have people disrespecting you. And you’ve got to smile and pretend that that’s OK.”

When Washington offered quiet words of encouragement from offstage, Smith thanked him and added, “Denzel said to me, at the highest moment, be careful — that’s when the devil comes for you.”

This was not ordinary Oscars God-talk.

This drama triggered waves of social media angst, with critics and millions of viewers debating who to blame for the crisis during an otherwise-meandering show shaped by politics, pandemics, gender, race and low ratings.

“Some people appreciate that the ‘King Richard’ actor was rightly defending his wife’s honor, saying Rock went too far when making fun of Pinkett Smith,” noted educator Cerith Gardiner, writing for the Catholic website Aleteia. “Others were appalled by Smith’s violent response to the insensitive joke. Yet, out of all the rapidly forming opinions, there is one voice that made a lot of sense,” wrote Gardiner, referring to Washington. 

His sobering statement about temptation and fame during this “normally glamorous evening,” she noted, “reminds us that these Hollywood stars, (whom) some hero-worship, have their vulnerabilities and their weaknesses.”

It helped to know that comics have been jabbing at the Smiths for years, in part because of constant social media banter about their unconventional — some have said “open” — marriage. There was, for example, this 2013 Facebook comment from Pinkett Smith: “Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship ... this means we have a GROWN one.”

Denzel and Pauletta Washington have, in nearly four decades together, survived their own roller coaster ride of Hollywood rumors and speculation. In 1995, they renewed their marriage vows in rites led by South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

During a 2013 interview with Ebony magazine, Pauletta was blunt, noting, “He’s a sex symbol. Everybody’s around him. And when we’re out, they push me over and run me over to get to him. That part is not so cute. ... I live with this man. I see the down part. I see the sad part. I see every part. He has, and knows he has, that stability in me as his wife.”

At the same time, Washington has become increasingly vocal about his pilgrimage deeper into the Pentecostal faith of his childhood, when he was raised as the son of a Church of God in Christ pastor. Time after time, he has publicly linked his vows to God and his wife.

What did Washington tell Smith? His words may have echoed his 2019 remarks after receiving the American Film Institute’s Life Achievement Award.

The actor thanked his wife for “40 years of sacrifice, 40 years of forgiveness, of talking about faith, spirituality, love — real love, unwavering love — in spite of (himself).

“I would not be alive without Pauletta Washington,” he said.

The bottom line, said Washington, was an even higher love: “I’m up here to say thank you to God for giving me this ability, for blessing me, for shaping me, for chastising me, for teaching me, for punishing me, for allowing me to be a vessel and touch people around the world.”

Terry Mattingly leads GetReligion.org and lives in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. He is a senior fellow at the Overby Center at the University of Mississippi.